Five Reasons To Know Your Weaknesses

Tuesday, July 06, 2010

In last week’s blogs (1,2) I wrote about the vital importance of knowing your weaknesses. My general point was that it’s really an essential piece of anyone’s evolution to success. Smart and successful people figure this out and surround themselves with people who are more skilled than they are, in the areas that they are lacking.

One of the reasons I was attracted to becoming a partner at Tidemark is that Ben Hess (founding partner and Managing Director) told me that his goal was to “surround myself with people smarter than me.” Now we both knew what he really meant; not that I was smarter, but that I was smarter at certain things that he lacked. In fact I have never been in the presence of four people (My Tidemark partners) who are so different in the skills they offer.

The way Ben accomplished his goal of rounding out a successful partnership, was to fill in the gaps where his skills were lacking. He couldn’t have done this without some serious awareness regarding his weaknesses.

So here are five reasons to know your weaknesses:

Knowing your weaknesses will free up more time to develop your strengths.
Knowing your weaknesses will liberate you to ask for help where help is needed.
Knowing your weaknesses will help you delegate, hire, or surround yourself with people who will enjoy doing the things you don’t.
Knowing your weaknesses will help you find and make your best contribution.
Knowing your weaknesses will make your life and your business more productive.

Now, remember, we’ll all have to do things we aren’t good at or don’t like doing. That’s just a fact of life – There are things that you simply must do. But doing them with awareness can help you set aside time to do them first and get them out of the way. Then you’re freed up to get on to the fun stuff.

Editor’s Note: This article was written by Dr. David Mashburn. Dave is a Clinical and Consulting Psychologist, Partner at Tidemark, Inc. and a regular contributor to WorkPuzzle. Comments or questions are welcome. If you’re an email subscriber, reply to this WorkPuzzle email. If you read the blog directly from the web, you can click the “comments” link below.

One More Rule for Success

Thursday, July 01, 2010

If you could boil down rules for success to only one, what would it be?

Over the course of the last two years we’ve frequently discussed the value of knowing and exercising one’s strengths. Regarding my last blog, “One Key To Happiness: Being ME Can Be A Bummer,” I was asked by a reader if what I said applies to success as well. Just to remind you…in the blog, I built a case for the importance of coming to terms with who you aren’t, and argued that it is equally, if not more important, than knowing who you are.

Have you ever noticed that the most successful people have no reservations about stating their weaknesses? They are at perfect peace saying, “I’m terrible at…” this or that. They know as much about where they are weak, as they do about where they are strong.

It seems to me that people who haven’t experienced much success in business or in life know very little about their strengths and weaknesses. The reason is that people in the above category haven’t taken on enough risk or experimented sufficiently with with their work life to build awareness around where they shine and where they flounder, where they succeed and where they fail.

It’s unfortunate, but our educational system is set up in a way that individuals can’t figure this out in school. It’s generally young adults who want engaging work and perhaps even purposely set out to figure out what they are good at, who slowly learn that what they want to do doesn’t necessarily mesh with their strengths. Only then do they begin to understand who they are and what their true strengths and weaknesses are.

Often what we are good at isn’t really what we enjoy… and what we enjoy, we may not be good at. But when we hone in on the overlap… Eureka!

Here are some examples from my own family: My oldest son is in commercial production work. He has realized that he enjoys the conceptualization and creative end more than the editing and production details. My next son is a salesman for a radio station and realizes he enjoys “closing deals.” He says, “I love overcoming objections.. if I could do that all day I’d be happy.” (No, I’m not giving you his contact info.) But, he doesn’t like fulfilling orders, producing the ads, etc. My recently graduated daughter is just starting in PR work, and is just beginning to discover what she doesn’t like and/or is not good at.

As a manager, do you know your weaknesses? Do you know the weaknesses of your agents and staff? How often do you talk about them?

One Key to Happiness: Being “ME” can be Bummer

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

I certainly can see how the title of this blog got your attention. And no…the shrink is not suicidal. The title of this blog actually represents an awareness that I developed over time that has helped me lead a more contented life. Let me explain…

Beginning in early childhood, we all become aware of the many gifts, talents, interests, and competencies that are represented in the many people that surround us. The number and vastness of these can be staggering and somewhat intimidating. Children want them all. They want to master everything.

This desire to become more than we are doesn’t stop in childhood. In fact, an essential step to becoming a healthy adult not only involves understanding who you ARE, but just as importantly, knowing and understanding who you are NOT. Pop psychologists like to talk about “being yourself.” Being successful in this endeavor requires that you understand what isn’t you, and stop trying to be that. Now let me warn you…this can be a bummer.

Perhaps you’ve seen people travel the world and are envious as they return from their trips with amazing stories of adventure. So, you plan and pay for your own trip, but fail to feel any level of enjoyment. In fact you might feel more stressed than invigorated. For you, great joy is found in lying by a pool and reading a book about foreign lands.

This is just one example, but it holds true with just about everything: An athlete wishes she was a good businessperson, while an accountant wishes he was an athlete. A song writer wishes he had a steady job, and a CEO wishes she was an artist. To be honest with oneself and admit that “That’s not me” can be kind of a bummer. In doing so, one realizes one’s finiteness, one’s limitations, and one’s boundaries. There is nothing wrong with a little sadness around this.

However, through the grief you can achieve more freedom and concentrated effort to do what you do really well, do it more deliberately, and enjoy it even more because you aren’t secretly fighting internally what you believe you “ought” to be doing.

I recently heard Steve Miller (of the Steve Miller Band) comment about his recent album in an interview. He was asked, “Why didn’t you write any new songs for this album, and instead covered old blues tunes?” His answer was priceless: He said “People of my age (he’s 68 years old) can do a lot of things really well, but generally we can’t write good songs, so I just played to music that I love the most.”

In realizing his limitations, Steve Miller put out a highly respected album that I predict will sell very well.

So, remember to spend some time separating the things that you really enjoy doing from the things that you don’t. Really try to figure out the things that you are good at, and the things you aren’t. It may be initially a bummer to say, “This is me,” but in the long run you’ll channel your efforts well.

How To Retain Your Top Performers

Thursday, June 24, 2010

After working out at my local sports club, I couldn’t help but notice 20 guys, all Microsofties (this is Redmond Wa.), standing around the locker room TV, watching the final moments of the USA vs. Algeria World Cup game. A few minutes later, I heard a terrific howl of celebration. It was obvious that we had scored, and that scoring was a big deal. What I found interesting is that I had this huge smile on my face just from witnessing the excitement of the crowd and knowing that people were invigorated in celebrating the win.

There is something about celebration that lifts the human spirit…something that is distinctly human.

How deliberate are you in celebrating small successes in your office? How important is celebrating? I’m not sure that I have seen research on the subject, but I have seen research on the benefits of positive emotion for growth and success.

Bob Nelson, founder of Nelson Motivation Inc. and Vice President of Blanchard Training and Development Inc., a San Diego-based consulting company, explains that keeping people happy is very simple, and cost-effective. He says that the people you manage will not only try to work harder and give customers better service, they will tend to stay in their current jobs longer. We know how important and cost-effective that is. In his book, 1001 Ways to Reward Employees, Nelson explains:

“Part of the power of such rewards comes from the knowledge that someone took the time to notice the achievement…and personally deliver the praise.”

I think the following is one of his best suggestions:

“Call someone into your office just to thank him or her; don’t discuss any other issue.”

By doing this you’re demonstrating that you value the person’s well-being and success. The key is to avoid bringing up any other issue. Doing so might take away from what you’ve just recognized.

Despite the power of recognition noted in recent surveys, only 25 percent of employees believe that their managers express daily appreciation, whether it be by note or an in-person thank you. Unless you are among the few who already do this, flag your calendar to remind yourself to be deliberate in recognizing your employees, daily.

How much does it cost to take the time and effort to offer people spontaneous acts of gratitude and appreciation?

I guarantee that it costs a lot less than looking for a replacement…

Forget What You’ve Learned From Motivational Speakers: Doubt Yourself

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

How many times have you attended one of those motivational seminars where the presenter attempts to “pump you up” with the belief that greatness resides inside of you? And, all you have to do is convince yourself (through self-talk) that it is there, and it will be “released” into your life.

As you might have suspected, positive self-talk is not as effective as your motivational guru promised. In fact, you may do better doubting yourself, rather than trying to talk yourself toward greatness.

A few months ago, I wrote a series (1,2,3) on Daniel Pink’s latest book called Drive. If you haven’t read these articles, you may want to catch up on his compelling discoveries concerning motivation. Pink recently uncovered another research study that defies conventional wisdom on this topic.

This study was reported in the London Telegraph over the weekend and was originally conducted at the University of Illinois.

“In a nifty set of experiments, three social scientists explored the differences between what they call ‘declarative’ self-talk (I will fix it!) and ‘interrogative’ self-talk (Can I fix it?). They began by presenting a group of participants with some anagrams to solve (for example, rearranging the letters in ‘sauce’ to spell ’cause’.)

But before the participants tackled the problem, the researchers asked one half of them to take a minute to ask themselves whether they would complete the task – and the other half to tell themselves that they would complete the task.

The results? The self-questioning group solved significantly more anagrams than the self-affirming group.”

In a second, follow-up study, the initial finding was validated by the results of a new experiment:

“We told participants that we were interested in people’s handwriting practices. With this pretence, participants were given a sheet of paper to write down 20 times one of the following word pairs: Will I, I will, I, or Will. Then they were asked to work on a series of 10 anagrams in the same way participants in Experiment One did.

The outcome was the same. People ‘primed’ with Will I solved nearly twice as many anagrams as people in the other three groups. In subsequent experiments, the basic pattern held. Those who approached a task with questioning self-talk did better than those who began with affirming self-talk.

‘Setting goals and striving to achieve them assumes, by definition, that there is a discrepancy between where you are and where you want to be. When you doubt, you probably achieve the right mindset,‘ explained one of the researchers. ‘In addition, asking questions forces you to define if you really want something and probably think about what you want, even in the presence of obstacles.'”

These findings have a direct and immediate application to your business. If you have responsibility for coaching those on your team, teach them to ask questions about their abilities and to contemplate their chances of success.

“People who ask questions come from a more humble place, which creates space to come up with a deeper solution. In other words, questions open and declarations close. We need both, of course. But that initial tincture of honest doubt turns out to be more powerful than a bracing shot of certainty.”

If you are a hiring manager, integrate this principle into your interviews. Ask your candidates how they approach difficult tasks. If you get back a response that highlights their bravado…it’s a red flag. Those who are truly successful will likely be more humble.

Editor’s Note: This article was written by Ben Hess. Ben is the Founding Partner and Managing Director of Tidemark, Inc. and a regular contributor to WorkPuzzle. Comments or questions are welcome. If you’re an email subscriber, reply to this WorkPuzzle email. If you read the blog directly from the web, you can click the “comments” link below.

Office growth principles: Letting the game come to you

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Over the past few blogs, we’ve provided several ways of addressing occasional questions that arise over the value of fees paid by agents. In my last blog, I shared details about my own journey of developing a private practice, and some principles I developed to make my approach to discussing fees more solid and less defensive.

The principles are:

1. The fee is never the real problem. Figure out the problem. Always assume that the fee discussion is a discussion about something else. Figure out what the complaints are underneath the surface complaint, and ask what it would take to experience value.

2. Always do business with clients who appreciate the value of my work for them. In my third or fourth year of business, I decided to never again do business with people who are constantly finding things to complain about.

As I previously mentioned, applying these principles early and consistently has had an amazing impact on my practice over time. It grew to become a practice that needed no advertising or promotion to sustain itself.

Confidence is an incredibly powerful trait. Now when I say confidence, I don’t mean cockiness, arrogance, or in any way believing that one is above others or is above making mistakes.

What I mean by confidence is an interesting mix of knowing your craft so well that you can be a tremendous resource to those who need it, yet not feeling the need to prove it. When you reach this level of confidence, you have the freedom to ask intelligent questions – questions that others may have never considered. But, if your focus is on forcing the issue of your knowledge or value, ironically, you begin to lose ground.

It’s very much like watching a veteran, professional athlete who is comfortable “letting the game come to them” rather than forcing themselves to do too much.

Once I began operating from this stance, I was freed up to ask probing, non-defensive questions any time someone had a complaint, which allowed a free flow of information to be exchanged, getting to the real issues.

This approach has helped me to clarify, in each circumstance, whether I am working with someone who is going to be forever unreasonable, or whether the person is capable of actually talking through their complaints. As a result, I never get too far into a relationship with anyone who won’t appreciate the value they are getting. I build raving fans without doing much outside of what I have mentioned in my last few articles.

The greatest performers, in any field, do this well. Their confidence and experience allows them to not force anything, be non-defensive about their value, ask questions, probe… and as a result surround themselves with people they enjoy being around – people who are meant to be there.

If you are new, I recommend you talk often with a veteran manager who does this well…someone who has a thriving office of agents who are loyal performers and teammates. Achieving this level of confidence and learning to “let the game come to you” are some of the most essential elements of being a great manager.