Scientists at the forefront of research on happiness and positive functioning have discovered that negative emotion always has the ability (as Martin Seligman describes it) “to trump” positive emotion. He and other researchers suggest that we have to “learn” to keep negative emotion in check and amplify positive feelings.

How do we do that?

Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi (who I’ve referenced in past articles as the researcher who prominently studies the brain’s state of flow) believes that unless we occupy our minds with directed thoughts, defined goals, and meaningful work, the brain defaults to a state of worry.

He states that in order to escape such psychic entropy, we must build lives that strive to control our thoughts and guide our attention to activities which provide psychological flow.   These are the activities that give positive feedback, demand concentration, require skill development, and strengthen our sense of purpose and achievement.

This evidence is consistent with every study done on resilience and survival. The only way to stave off worry and depression is to do build meaning and purpose into your life.   This means setting goals and building an action plan to reach those goals.  Not only does this make us less worrisome, we’re also happier under these conditions.

If you’re coaching or mentoring, build this belief system into your philosophy.

If you’re the one worrying, then spend some time reconnecting to your with your own sense of personal meaning and purpose.  Then get busy putting that purpose into action.   Remember, relaxation is only as good as the work you put in to truly feel you deserved it.

It's no secret that managing and coaching those around us can feel futile if those being coached lack confidence in their ability to succeed.  We've all witnessed talented people lose their spark and confidence, begin to wilt, and eventually begin to drop below performance standards.

A few nights ago, on "American Idol" (OK, I admitted I watch it.)  Simon asked a contestant, "Do you think that you can win this?"  Her answer, or lack thereof, proved that she clearly had serious doubts as to whether she could!

An expert on the subject of confidence explains:

"Confidence consists of positive expectations for favorable outcomes.  Confidence influences the willingness to invest – to commit money, time, reputation, emotional energy, or other resources – or to withhold or hedge investment.  This investment, or its absence, shapes the ability to perform.  In that sense, confidence lies at the heart of civilization.  Everything about an economy, a society, an organization, or a team depend on it.  Every step we take, every investment we make, is based on whether we feel we can count on ourselves and others to accomplish what has been promised.  Confidence determines whether our steps – individually or collectivity – are tiny and tentative or big and bold."  (Rosabeth Moss Kanter, Confidence: Leadership and the Psychology of Turnarounds, 2004)

In light of this information, I predict that our American Idol contestant won't make it much further in the competition!

Recruiting people is only the first stage of an ongoing process.  It's your job as a coach, manager, and/or mentor, to bring out the best in others, and that begins with assessing their confidence.  They have to believe that they can succeed in order to succeed.

If they lack confidence, here are some things you can do:

1. Ask them: "Do you believe that you will succeed?"  If they don't, or if they say yes in a tentative manner:

2. Then ask them what they believe the outcome will be if they don't really believe they can achieve their goals?  (Even though my graduate courses were over 23 years ago, I can tell you that those who believed they'd finish and do well, did!  Those who didn't have that confidence, failed!)

3. Once you have them talking about their uncertainty and its impact on their performance:  Ask them to remember a time when they did succeed – big time!  Get them to remember their attitude going into the situation.  What was their level of confidence?  Did they expect success?

5. And lastly, remind them that their best confidence comes when they aren't taking on important tasks and projects to bolster their ego, rather when they are doing it to contribute to clients, co-workers and society at large.  Only under these conditions can one sustain great performance.  Because when things don't go well, it's not about your ego, it's about your contribution!

Yesterday, I described the neuroscience regarding the importance of maintaining focus.  Brain research confirms that we can shape how our brains operate and perform by training them to focus intently on the desired end-result.  To do this with the most positive results, we must help the brain stop doing what its oldest parts are trying to do– keep us alive!

You see, above all else, the brain’s primary purpose is to keep us from dying.  How?  The brain does this by focusing on what can go wrong; by focusing on the dangers; by focusing on the obstacles; by focusing on the negative.  This is the brain’s default position.

But, unlike other animals, we have this enormous cerebral cortex that surrounds the oldest part of the brain (the lymbic system).  If we always give in to the danger signals that the lymbic system is sending out, we’d rarely take chances, innovate, face rejection, or progress in our development.

Here’s an example of how performance can be enhanced by training the brain to filter out obstacles and focus on the goal at hand:

I’ve been mountain biking for the past 14 years.  I’m by no means an expert, but I get by…  The first thing anyone learns in mountain biking technique 101, is that your bike will go where your eyes are looking.  If your eyes are looking at a tree, you’ll hit the tree.  If you’re looking at a rock, you’ll hit the rock.

Now, your brain actually wants to look at the rock… it’s literally screaming at you.. “There’s a rock you idiot!  You’d better look at it…and while your at it slow down for crying out loud!” 

There are some people who will never progress in single track mountain biking because they can’t train their minds to not look at the rock.  The people who become proficient bikers, are able to train their brain, over time, to focus ahead, around the upcoming curve, toward the open trail…to where they really want to go. 

This task takes discipline and repetition.  Soon your brain has realized, “I am not only staying alive by looking beyond the trees and rocks, I’m having pleasure and success by doing it this way!”

I’ve heard this same principle applies to race car driving.  At those speeds, you can’t look at the wall.  If you do, your dead!

Success for you and those you manage is no different.  If your team is constantly looking at the obstacles, you’ll inevitably hit them, head-on.  Likewise, if you’re constantly looking at the “bad market,” you’ll be dragged down by it. 

Success comes to those who can train their team (self included) to look toward the vision, the goals, and the opportunities.  A culture built on this mind-set, is one that will survive and thrive, while the “others” out there will continue to hit trees…  

“It’s a strange, strange time we’re living in right now, where we’ve lowered our standards, in general, and we’ve gotten used to living with mediocrity.  And it bothers me.  Maybe you gotta be as old as I am to remember it, but growing up in the ’60s, standards were set very, very high.  If I do nothing else, I want to remind people what greatness sounds like.”

The words above were uttered by Steve Van Zandt, long time guitarist for Bruce Springsteen’s “E  Street Band” and founder and host of “Little Steven’s Underground Garage Show.” 

Although Steve is comparing the music of today with the music of the 60’s and 70’s, we can all relate to times when mediocrity is present among us. 

Think back to the times in your life when you’ve achieved tremendous success….those moments when you’ve realized, “I have the capacity and the will to do something great.”  This isn’t a conceited or narcissistic statement.  It’s a window into a chance to shine and contribute in a way that’s at your highest potential.

If you’ve had any access to the media over the last few weeks, you’ve certainly witnessed Susan Boyle’s phenomenal performance on “Britain’s got Talant.”

Why is it that the world loves this story?  Why have millions of people searched YouTube to see it?  A client of mine put it this way:

“Because we all like being reminded that we have that greatness within.”

If you mentor, manage or coach people in any way, it’s your first priority to find a way to help them realize their potential.  Remind them that they are capable of greatness.  Many will resist the idea, and some will never uncover their hidden capacity for greatness.  But, it’s there….in all of us, just waiting to be tapped.

Let this message serve as a reminder to never become complacent at drawing greatness out in others, and out of yourself.  For those of you who are adept at identifying greatness… I’ll see you at the next Bruce concert!